Wedding Day: Approaching Quickly

Nobody warned me about the crazy things that would happen as my wedding drew closer. My heart did a double flip flop when I saw ‘5 months’ on the countdown of my TheKnot app. It’s just getting so real, and getting down to the wire. Nobody told me that I wouldn’t be just nervous. The phrase ‘scared shitless’ is the more accurate way to describe this. I do know that what I am experiencing is simply nerves, and not ‘cold feet’, because I know fully in my heart,and it is confirmed by my friends and family’s approval that I am marrying the right man. On September 5, 2015, I will be giving my heart and hand to the man of my dreams, and we will start a new life together.

Don’t even know where to begin to describe what has been racing through my mind and heart as of late. That’s one crazy feeling right there, the overwhelming tidal wave that comes over me when I realize the gravity of the choice I am about to make, to spend the rest of my life loving just one person. I’ll be entrusting him with everything.

With making this choice, I am also facing one of my fears, marriage, because I see so many marriages ending. The heartbreak it causes makes me think carefully, and take steps to insure it won’t happen. For example, right now, I am going to a Bible study at the church called ‘A Beautiful Wife, by Sandy Ralya. Though I’m not married yet, I’m soaking in the advice from women with more experience. They tell me about what works, how to deal with different situations, about perspective in a situation, winning attitudes, etc…and most importantly, making God number one in our marriage.

I know I’m not perfect, as I messed up this morning when I got upset when my fiance and my weekend plans had to change. I’m thankful for his forgiving understanding heart when I told him I was sorry. I will never pretend to be perfect, because I don’t even come close! I’m just a woman bumbling through life who walks into doors, walks into walls, trips on her own two feet, oh, and my fiance’s personal favorite? I walked once into a mannequin at an upscale store, and politely said “excuse me”! I’m not a perfect woman, just an imperfect woman saved by God’s perfect grace.

As long as I place all my trust in God, I can hold His hand, and simply wing it and learn as I go. Yes, the approaching wedding may cause me to get the jitters, but I know I will be ok. I’m simply taking this one day at a time. That’s all I can do.

Water Colors: The Joy of Living

enhanceOnce my paint brush touched the paper, I had a mission. My mind’s eye took over, and colorful strokes turned into precise symbolism and imagery. I love to paint with water colors, and show the world how I see everything. I am a woman with mild high function autism, and I am so proud of it, I call it “awe”-tism. That’s exactly how it is. We are in awe of life, its cycles, the many celebrations and colors. Of course, we know of those difficult times, but without those difficult times, the beautiful wouldn’t be as stunning. Appreciation and savoring are words we know so well, we are captured by the smallest of things. For me, it was the four seasons. Each day, I love watching the temperatures gradually increase or decrease, depending on the time of year. Not only do we notice these things, we notice the shapes of snow flakes, the reflectiveness of a single rain drop, the gradient coloring of a bonfire, all tell-tale factors of the changing seasons. Oh, how I love the sun as well when it shines down on me while a breeze of wind blows through my hair. My paintings consist of my perception of nature, as well as a couple imaginative unexpected details. Today, I was in the midst of a dark night in my soul (I’m affected by seasonal depression at times), and mom inspired me to paint again. The joy and appreciation of life began. Not only that, but today we enjoyed the first real snow of the season! 🙂

Apples All Around


Yesterday, I read a blog by John Mosley, called I an an Apple Lover, and though I have yet to try his apple dip recipe, I wanted to piggy back off his idea with something of my own. This recipe is so simple, yet so tasty and festive. It’s apple sauce with apple pie spice (or even pumpkin pie spice- something I accidentally discovered last night) heated up in the microwave.

Tasting this brought me back to my childhood. Every single fall, I would go with my family to go apple picking. There’s nothing quite as satisfying as the crunch into an apple, followed by that sweet taste in your mouth. As a child, the juice always dribbled down my shirt, because my motor skills needed work. After apple picking, we would go on a hay ride around whatever farm we were at.

Back to the simple recipe: I heated up some apple sauce in the microwave for about a minute, or a minute and a half, and then added some apple spice. This makes ordinary Meijer brand apple sauce taste like the homemade kind grandma used to make. Yesterday night, however, I wasn’t paying attention to which spice jar I grabbed, and when it was too late, I realized it was pumpkin spice. Call me oblivious, but I didn’t really notice a difference. They both tasted delicious! The pumpkin spice increased my courage to try pumpkin pie. Cue the gasps and disbelief: I never tried pumpkin pie in my life! If anyone knows of any good pumpkin pie recipes, please let me know. 🙂

Shutterfly: My New Home-base

Two weeks ago, I had my very first writer’s conference experience. Breathe Writer’s Conference 2014 took place at Grand Rapids Theological Experience in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and writers and editors had the opportunity to sit in the classrooms, and learn more about the topics of their choice. The topics ranged from writing devotionals, blogging, the publishing process, poetry and others. I chose to focus on restarting my writing career, continue editing, and build a sturdy foundation to build my business from. These past few weeks since the conference, I have been focusing on the technical aspects of such a career. Mostly, I spent time building my blog, developing a network to connect with other writers and editors, and building a simple website.

It is with great enthusiasm that I would like to introduce my new website: Kelly A Warren: Freelance Writer and Editor. Many know that I am a freelance editor, currently offering my services for free to build experience, however, I am also a writer.  My goal for the coming weeks is to free-write, and break my writer’s block. Please stay tuned for more.

New Meaning of Halloween & the Fall Season

I like to say that perhaps the fact I was born in the fall is the reason for feeling the most alive during the season. Mysterious, alluring, and spooky. Children returning to school, leaves slowly changing color, a chill cooling down the otherwise summery setting. Indian summer is what it is known as. This is the season of harvest after gardening and nourishing plants and animals all spring and summer.  Fall, in my eyes, is the season where vibrant warm colors warm up the crispy air, and warm up my heart, so that it works faster with creativity. According to folklore, Halloween is the season where the veil between the spirit world and the physical world is the thinnest. However, as a Christian, I have a strong sense of discernment. I know that ghosts of departed human spirits do not exist, because after death, souls go directly to heaven or hell. I do believe in spirits, in the sense that memories echo through a particular place, and reside there. Maybe the term ‘ghosts’ to me is more figurative rather than literal. Autumn makes me feel alive because of the fact that a lot of great memories, and a predilection for many aspects of the season, like pumpkins, warm apple cider, hay rides, apple pie, having fun on Halloween, etc. At the college that I graduated from, Kuyper, we would celebrate Reformation Day instead of Halloween, and remember Christian reformers, such as John Calvin, Martin Luther, Abraham Kuyper, and others. According to Roman Catholicism, All Souls Day is celebrated to remember souls, past and present who believed, and remembering that in spirit, they are part of us, a cloud of witnesses calling out the name of Jesus. Since I left Paganism, I have been pondering what this season now means to me. It means four things to me now:
1.       A season of remembrance of departed ones.
2.       A season of appreciation of the Reformation, and the Christian fathers (and mothers) who made our community the way it is today.
3.       A season of remembrance of us being a cloud of witnesses, alive and departed gathered under the name of Jesus.
4.       A season just to have fun. We all have common sense to know what is real, and what is make believe. We can play and have fun. Who doesn’t like free candy?

Changed Desires

Sometimes, I wonder if I listen to the wrong voice inside me that tells me that I’m one mistake away from where I was in the past. I feel that I have more strength than I give myself credit for. Just now, I was able to browse through my kindle online storage, and came across some Wicca and witchcraft books. I had no desire to look at them, as the Holy Spirit, in my heart was singing me a sweeter song. Since I have died to my sinful self, my desires have changed to be those that God has written in my heart. Again, I think of my life verse: be not conformed to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your heart through Jesus Christ. 

Voice of Truth

Sometimes, I feel like I’m one mistake away from turning back to my old ways, and I’m going to slip back. It’s hard to hold onto God’s promise in Psalms 103:12, where God promises to remove our sins from us as the east is from the west. Sometimes, others remind me of my past, skeptical that this “Christian” thing will be a phase, and I will go back to the way I was. I can totally understand their point of view, as I have done this before, many times in the past. I have my own doubts, and they are like the giants in the story of David and Goliath. I am reminded of the many times I have tried and failed to stay strong. I feel taunted, sometimes defeated, not strong enough on my own. I wonder when this “phase” will end, and I’ll go back to my old ways. Another voice is telling me that He is with and in me, and He is going to do something powerful through me if I trust. Do I have enough faith? If God was the power in David’s swing that killed Goliath, isn’t He the power that will bring transformation into my life? I don’t know about what tomorrow holds, but today, right now, I’m listening to God’s steady voice of truth.